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5 Lessons To Unlearn About Your 20s

2 years ago / personal

I turn 29 in a week and that got me thinking about my roaring 20s wtf.

I turn 29 in a week and that got me thinking about my roaring 20s wtf. They say that your twenties are the best years of your life - you start to go on real dates, still have the energy (and financial freedom) to party like a rockstar, eat all the carbs you want while your metabolism is still able to catch up and of course, still have room to screw up.

I’ve had my fair share of screw ups, some more major than others and I’ve noticed a pattern - I learned almost every lesson too late. "If only I knew then what I know now…"

Do I regret any of it?

No.

But it did get me thinking: What are some of the lessons I’ve learned from my 20s?

1) There is no blueprint to life.

I’ve never really mentioned it, but I actually left NTU Accountancy after one semester to enroll into NUS and throughout my university life, I was always self-conscious of the fact that I was a year older than my batch mates. In year three, I was offered a place in the NOC (NUS Overseas College) programme that could have taken me to Silicon Valley or Shanghai but I chose to turn it down… simply because I was afraid to graduate a year later.

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Then came graduation and I got quite kan cheong that everyone else was happily settled in their steady relationships, buying their BTOs and getting married while I was still uhh, dating around.

Today, most of my secondary school friends are already mothers (some mothers of two or three!!) while here I am, planning my next Disneyland holiday wtf.

If I had known the 21-year-old-me, I would have told her to grab that NOC opportunity and just go. Seriously, come five years later, nobody is gonna ask you “Hey did you graduate in 2008 or 2009?”

Truth is, there is really no standard blueprint to Life - some of us will get married early, some late and some maybe not at all. Some will make a lot of money in their cushy banker jobs and some won’t. Some will have three children by thirty and some none in this lifetime. It’s perfectly alright if your friends are all marrying and having kids before you… as long as you’re HAPPY with the choices you’ve made.

Neither is there a need to judge others by how they choose to live their lives.

2) High school never ends

I came from an all-girls secondary school and can you imagine all that catty shit and bitchiness we had to deal with?

Good, now multiply it ten-fold and it turns into something called “workplace politics”.

There are still the girls we love to hate (or will love to hate you wtf) and that annoying chao mugger who ALWAYS says he “never study for his test” but SOMEHOW always “very lucky” to score full marks.. he’s still around.

For every person who chooses to take the high road to success, there are at least 10 others waiting by for the opportune moment to take that success away.

The sooner you realise this, the lesser the disappointment you’ll get.

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3) Let go of relationships that suck the happiness out of you.

Not just relationships with the person you’re romantically involved with, but with just about everyone else in your life - friends, colleagues, partners etc.

Seriously, there are some people I wish I had written out of my life much earlier. Cut out the people who don’t appreciate your worth and drag you down with their negativity… and don’t waste your time on people who don’t value it.

Stop crossing oceans for the people who won’t even jump a puddle for you.

4) Your exes are not yours.

They do not belong to you. Hating their new girlfriend or your current boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend and spending hours ploughing through old Facebook photos is completely and utterly pointless.

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Though I have to admit, the many hours spent cyber-stalking them will hone FBI-worthy skills that will come in extremely useful someday. There’s a very good reason why my ex-boss calls me Google Flora haha.

5) There is no RIGHT moment.

I’m sooo guilty when it comes to this… I’m always looking for the RIGHT moment where the stars are aligned wtf to do anything - the right moment to publish this blog post, the right moment to launch our latest marketing campaign, the right moment to work on my new project, the right moment to call someone… you get the idea.

The truth is, there is no such thing as the right moment: You have to make the moment right on your own.

Stop waiting around - take the risk, make the call, jump into in and just go.

Also, champagne, ice cream and massages need not be reserved for the right occasions. Treat yourself ;)

Above all, laugh when you can, apologise when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.