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How to make your divorce easier

4 years ago

It's never easy but it could be easier.

Lately the topic that keeps coming up in our conversations whenever I meet up with my friends seems to be "Did you know so-and-so ALSO got a divorce?" I mean I (sorta) understand why... we're at the stage where most of us would have been married for 4, 5 years and it's usually at this stage that you'd either have worked out the kinks OR decide that the differences are just too big to be resolved.

I'm no marriage expert and neither am I the best family lawyer around but after a few rounds of cocktails (mocktails for me lol) with my lawyer friends, I think I've picked up some tips on how you can make your divorce easier - though tbh, I think it can never be easy per se, especially when kids are involved.

(Also saving this for myself just in case things don't end up too well in my marriage. You never know, right?!)

1) Engage a good lawyer

A good family lawyer will definitely spare you a lot of headache and agony. You'll need someone who can fight for you but at the same time offer advice without clouded judgment.

2) Don't neglect yourself

It's easy to allow yourself to spiral into self-pity and even depression. Try to stay as positive as you can - enrol yourself in yoga class, pick up baking, try a new hobby and don't be afraid to tap into your network of friends and family for support and assistance.

3) Take the high road

In the wise words of Oscar Wilde, always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. It's easier said than done of course but the earlier you stop thinking of the breakup as a battle, the earlier you let YOURSELF go. Try to make communication as cooperative as possible so the entire ordeal doesn't drag on unnecessarily.

Above all, be compassionate to your ex and kind to yourself.