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The BEST Best Man’s Speech

The BEST best man's speech!

I love this series of pictures.

To be honest I don’t remember much of the exact events that happened that night… except drinking a lot of champagne and taking a lot of pictures with everyone. In fact, for the most part of our wedding, the boy and I weren’t really with each other - he was too busy getting himself drunk with the boys.

But I remember that particular moment when the last picture was snapped - I was leaning on him, looking at all our close friends around us and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Glad that the photog managed to capture that smile on my face.

Wish that the boy had a better expression though… he looks like he’s the unluckiest guy in the world FML.

Anyway, I thought these pictures were taken when we were all gathered around for the speeches.. but I see Gab in the background so I think it should be when they were reading out the hilarious mad libs!

Gab’s best man’s speech was the best around imho :) It was funny yet incredibly sweet… in a manly kinda way.

Here’s the transcript:

Pretty nervous now. Today’s the biggest day of my life so thank you all for coming. Before I begin Garry’s character assassination I would like to raise a glass to the swordbearers, the lovely bridesmaids, and of course the happy couple who without them this evening would not have been possible. Cheers!

So a couple of days ago, I read online that best man’s speeches should sing the praises of the groom, and talk about his many plus points. Sorry to disappoint, but I can’t sing, and I won’t lie. Also, nothing in my speech is original so if anyone is offended, it is not my fault

For all of you who may not know me, I’m Gabriel, Garry’s best man. I must admit though that I’m irked by this title of “best man”. Cause if I am the best man, then why is Flora marrying Garry? So I guess I’m just a pretty good man, and today, Garry’s the best man. He is also a man I admire for many reasons. Garry, such a solid guy. Honest, hardworking, insane chef and ummm.. man shit, brother, sorry man, I can’t read your handwriting..

So when I was writing this I was considering if I should take the traditional route of rehashing the sordid details of our adventures or I should take the high road. So I texted my best friend and he said I should just talk about how we met and refrain from mentioning our escapades. In fact, he specifically told me not not to mention, wait, I have a list here - Bangkok 2008, Bangkok 2009, Bangkok 2013? Shanghai 2010, Shanghai 2010. Again? Exercise Wallaby 2010? The fuck man? The list goes on.

Okay... In all seriousness, I first met the man back in 2004, we were in OCS. I was on the second floor, just minding my own business, walking around, and this guy was on the ground floor. It was a perpendicular balcony you see, so I could see him and him, me. And that’s when it happened, we made eye contact. It was electrifying. Love at first sight. And our man over here looked at me and did THIS... totally killed it.

I guess our bromance blossomed over prawning through the years. It all started New Year’s Eve 2004, went on to the night we discovered the magical worms, the 80 prawn night, just too damn good. It seemed that regardless of all the crap that we were going through in our lives, we always had prawning to fall back on. Many joined in through the years but not many stayed. At the end it was always just us 2 dudes, beer in 1 hand, cigarette in the other, staring at a filthy pool of water and wondering if our floats were sinking or were our eyes playing tricks

Such a humanitarian he is, having donated his body to science. All these years having his body skilfully preserved in alcohol. I would love to spill the details of our exploits but sadly, I was a part of most of it and I wouldn’t want to tarnish my impeccable reputation. Suffice to say, those nights we spent at Arena and Pump Room, were... a bloody waste of time.

In all honesty, Garry’s a great guy - he’s honest, loyal, hardworking, a great friend, my best friend.

Flora, gorgeous. You are absolutely beautiful tonight, and I believe every guy in this room will agree with me when I say it is a very sad sad, heartbreaking day for us, that this wonderful, beautiful girl is OFFICIALLY off the market. And I must add that, Garry, every girl in the room will agree with me, that today... is just another day.

I believe the happy couple met one fateful day at the Ubi Driving Centre. A young, aspiring pilot met a pretty NUS student who was waiting to take her test. I believe there was a witness. Zollin was there as well, Zollin, where are u. Please stand up. Ladies and gentlemen, round of applause for Zollin Ng, Cleo's Top 50 Bachelors 第五十一名.

Who bought that story? No one? Let me tell you what really happened. It was another drunken night at pump room. We left Garry on the dance floor for an instant and the next thing we knew he was full on snogging Flora. In her defense, the dance floor was really dark and and she said he looked like Liu de hua, mei Xiang dao qi Shi Shi wu Meng da. Guys, why you had spun the driving center cover story is beyond me.

Flora, though you may not show it, all of us here tonight know you are a warm, caring and lovely individual who absolutely deserves the best man in the world…. so thank god Garry you are marrying her before she found one. Anyone who can put up with this DOTA crazy, overgrown magic card playing, vulgarity spewing creature definitely has my blessing.

Ok I think I’ve spent the necessary few minutes showering the lovely bride with praise. Moving on..

I cannot imagine a better union of individuals than you two. In the wise words of Jerry McGwire, you truly have found completion in each other. Garry, in Flora u have found an smart, funny, kind, independent and understanding individual. Flora, in Garry, well.. Nah you're good.

Okok jokes aside, you guys are truly the exception to the rule, that in fact first loves do last. Everybody let’s raise a glass to the Garry and flora. Here’s to a wonderful life together, and setting the record straight that Garry is not gay.

To happily ever after!

The very amazing best man