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The ultimate best man speech

5 years ago / wedding / best man's speech

How to ace your best man's speech - as taught by the hubs.

I was just lamenting to my girlfriends that I haven't had any weddings to attend for the past year (I'm DYING to wear my dressy dresses!) - because my girls are not in a hurry to settle down, and NOT because I have no friends wtf - but suddenly my last 3 Saturdays were all spent at weddings.

Not that I'm complaining of course, cause these days I make it a point to only attend the weddings of people I like... And cause the mango pudding they served were all damn bloody good. :joy:

So two years back, I wrote about The BEST Best Man's Speech given by the boy's best man at our wedding. (It's really very good, you should click on it. I just read it again and it got me all warm & fuzzy...)

I never thought I would laugh and cry so hard at a speech again, until the hubs delivered HIS best man's speech recently. Because I had used Best to describe Gab's speech two years ago, and that my loyalty should obviously lie with the man I married, here's presenting to you the ULTIMATE best man's speech:

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. For those of you that don’t know me, I’m Garry and today I’ve the privilege of being Gabriel’s best man. I’m known to be many things, but a public speaker isn’t one of them, so luckily for all you I’m going to keep this short and sweet.

Gabriel didn't have an easy decision in choosing his best man. First, he called his most charming friend, and he said no. Second, he called his most trusted and smartest friend, and he said no. Then, he asked his most good looking friend, and he also said no. Then he called me, and I said...

“Bro, I can't say no to you four times.”

So, what can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others might fail? A man who is beginning to distinguish himself amongst his peers and where no‐one can say a bad word against him?

Anyway that’s enough about me. I’m here to talk about Gabriel.

Traditionally in his speech, the best man will tell all kinds of amusing stories about the groom. Stories about the adventures they’ve had, and the trouble they’ve gotten into together. I’m not going to do that for two reasons. First, this place is only available until 2 am. In terms of stories about Gabriel, it will take a while. The second reason is that the goal of telling these stories is usually to embarrass the groom in front of his friends and family. Allow me to assure everyone here that Gabriel is more than capable of embarrassing himself without any assistance, and he’s much better at it than I could ever hope to be.

What I will say is that it’s been an honor to get to know you over the last few years Gabriel, and I couldn’t be happier for you. From my 2 years’ worth of experience as a married guy, You must set the ground rules and establish who is the boss in your relationship!

...Then do everything Sarah says.

But seriously Sarah, I’ve gotten to know Gabriel quite well over the years, and I will say this – you have a husband who is devoted to you and will never let you down. I’ve seen him at his worst, and I’ve seen him at his best.. But I am glad he has you to enter the next stage in life with.

So my friends, as a man who will drink to just about anything, it gives me great pleasure to invite you all to drink to something worthwhile. Please join me in a toast.

Gabriel & Sarah, I know tonight is the start of your baby making journey. I speak for everyone here when I say I wish you both the very best.