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The things you need to do for yourself before you marry

5 years ago / married life / personal

My pre-marriage bucket list.

I'm 30 and like most girls, I spent my teens planning my dream wedding (the dress, the flowers, the fireworks and 500 flying unicorns wtf). Then came my twenties and I absolutely couldn't wait to get hitched - I practically badgered dropped hints every other day until he proposed and I eventually got to say "I do" at 28.

Fast forward two years, and now that I'm finally married, the one piece of advice that I often dish out to most of my peers - some older, some younger - is ironically, don't rush into settling down. In fact, my exact words are - I think I married too early. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband (Babe, if you're reading this, YOU KNOW I DO!) - with all my heart - but my point is, you have your entire life to be married, so what's the hurry?

So here's a pre-marriage bucket list I've put together - some I've managed to tick off and some I wish I had.

1. Complete your education

Especially if it involves going overseas, because trust me, you're not going anywhere once you get married. I still lament sometimes about my New York post-grad opportunity that I chose to pass on. Sure, I could pursue my Master's locally but I don't know if it's just me or do people somehow just get lazier once they get married - and I don't even have children to deal with?!

2. Get your finances in order

Splurge all you want (buy 'em clothes! buy 'em shoes!) then clean up your finances and/ or debt so that they wouldn't be the burden of your future partner.

If you're thinking of starting a business or making a bold career move, then you should take that plunge before family commitments get in the way.

3. Fall in love with someone who is wrong in every single way

I hate to say this but the thing about most of us is that when we meet that one person whom everybody tells us to stay away from, we'll still end up choosing to tempt fate despite knowing that it's definitely gonna burn.

Because more often than not, we don't know what we want until we experience what we DON'T want.

4. And let your heart get broken in a way you never thought possible

So that when the right person and the right relationship comes along, you'll not take things for granted.

5. Learn how to cook

Because you can't possibly dine out every single day unless your father is Bill Gates and cooking is a life skill that is strangely very rewarding.

Plus, it is a much cheaper (and convenient) option than seeing a shrink when your spouse drives you crazy - why else do you think I've been baking all those damn cupcakes?!

6. Travel by yourself

I'll suggest living by yourself like those Elite Daily articles but errr, with the property prices in Singapore, let's be realistic.

So yes, choose somewhere you've never been to and just GO! Explore new sights, meet new people, get out of your comfort zone and answer to nobody else except yourself.

7. Take that Hangover trip with your best friends

You know that trip you always talked about during college? Make it happen - go wild, get drunk and make some crazy memories with your bros / girls you can't tell anyone else about.

Just be sure to look out for each other and not wake up with your kidneys harvested wtf.

8. Screw up your life

Get lost (figuratively), be experimental and allow yourself to mess up your life in ways you never thought possible...

(But try to stay legal and don't end up in jail lah wtf.)

9. Then, clean up your act

Quit smoking. Eat clean. Start exercising. Use sunscreen. And find yourself.

You need to be able to handle your own life before you handle someone else's.

(So you won't suddenly freak your wife out with a mid-life crisis sounding desire of wanting to be a full-time Magic Card player wtf. #truestory.)

10. Learn to love yourself

Take yourself out to dinner, watch a movie by yourself, enjoy your own company and think about what makes you special.

I would quote Carrie Bradshaw except that it's starting to get predictable so yeah, just remember that marriage is about two individuals coming together and you first have to understand who you really are before your partner can love the you, that you love.