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Things you should say to your boss for that long overdue promotion

5 years ago / working girl

Employee of the year award, here we come!

Hello friends!

I'm currently in Bangkok, in our Thai office, waiting for my super intern to get me my favourite cha yen from this super famous roadside stall which erm, 4 years on, she STILL refuses to tell me where. (I'm pretty sure she adds some dope in it every time so I HAVE to forever depend on her hahah... Mai, if you're reading this, I KID. Please do not send the mafia after me, thanks.)

Ok, #superintern is back with tea.

And fried chicken.


Imagine boneless chicken thigh topped with CREAMY TOMATO PIZZA SAUCE and MELTED MOZZARELLA CHEESE... omg this is sex chicken-fied.

I love you long time, Mai.

Ok... in all seriousness, if YOU are looking to win the Employee Of The Year award at your own organisation, here are some tips you can consider telling / doing to your boss:

1) Eavesdrop on his conversations until you find out his Friday night reservation as his favourite restaurant. Then call them back and cancel his reservation. Say you're his wife.

2) Tell him, "I took the interns out for shots last night—pretty sure they won't be in this morning."

3) Ask, "You're really wearing that to the meeting?" Be sure to roll your eyes to the moon and back.

4) Go up to him and say, "[Insert colleague's name] and I are arguing about whose job sucks more. Can you be the final judge?"

5) Call the local Mormon or Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints church and ask them to visit your house soon... but give them your boss's address.

6) Take MC and explain the next day, "I'm feeling great, thanks! I wasn’t really sick yesterday—I was at an interview for an incredible part time job."

7) Look really confused and go, "Oh, I thought you meant the end of next month."

8) When your boss says "Good Morning", quickly reply, "Oh is it?"

9) Tell him, "I could definitely do your job."

10) Then follow it up with, "Actually... what do you even do all day?"

Actually... with these, you could be gunning for Employee Of The Decade instead. You go girl!

(Psst, sorry we are not taking in interns at the moment BUT there are some pretty rad Singapore internship opportunities over at Stroff - check them out!)