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Why we don't need 'I love you'

6 years ago / married life / personal

3 words, 8 letters. One meaning.

Yesterday, like every Wednesday, I ended my Thai class and made my way to my car, only to realize that I can't leave the car park cause I don't have enough balance in my cashcard and I had stupidly left my wallet in the office.

Instinctively I called the husband - who was out on a run - and all he told me was to stay put and that he'll be over in 20 minutes.

He arrived in less than 15, with a fully-loaded cashcard and passed me money so I can get curry puffs AND ice cream then told me, "See you at home."

So I bought my dinner, got out of the car park, drove home and walked through the front door, half-expecting a fight to happen cause Little Miss Scatterbrain over here had interrupted his run and made him drive all the way to town... For nothing.

But nope, no fight happened and in fact, he asked me if I'm still hungry and whether I needed more food.


If you know us, you'd know that we are so not the typical romantic couple basking in that "newlywed bliss".

He doesn't text me "Good morning, love" and never ever tells me that he misses me. On his month/s long detachments, 90% of our texts are of him yelling at me to "GO BATHE!!"

Neither has he ever told me explicitly "I love you." Not when he proposed, not when we fought for the first time and not at our wedding. In fact, I cannot imagine him ever saying that to my face.... I'll probably end up screaming and hiding under the table.

Obviously when I was younger, I was always after all that "romantic works" - fancy dinners, flowers (the bigger the bouquet the better), "Good morning beautiful" texts and plenty of reassuring "I Love You" s.

Today, I don't have any of that in my marriage but I think I'm in a much better place.

You see, there are a million different ways to say I love you:

  • Watch your step.
  • Have you had dinner?
  • Wear your seat belt.
  • I've got this.

You just have to listen.